iPod On My Hand

I left immediately after dismissal. I just wanted to be alone..and thinking for myself. I saw that person which is special to me. Was that person looking for me?It's weird that that person got to the train station line earlier than me. That person is weird. I walked slowly so that we won't be together in the train. I bought a drink so that I will take long before going inside the train. Then I saw and heard the blind people asking for donations singing. It's a love song, a sad love song. My eyes were getting warmer,  but the cold drink that I have made it cooler. I got into the train, that person is not there. My eyes were getting warmer again. Then I turned on my ipod and put on my earphones. An iPod on my hand..on shuffle, a sad love song.

My eyes wanted to burst water, but I should control it..it's embarrassing. I was walking on my way out, with an ipod on my hand. I always passed by a giant Christmas tree. But yesterday, I just stared at it, 3 minutes or so. 

It is so beautiful. A bit of pain in my chest went away. Still an iPod on my hand, I like to stare forever to this "loneliness-reliever" Christmas tree. The blue lights are moving down, like tears. Let that Christmas tree cry for me...thank you so much...

I am not hungry, but whenever I am confused, I eat. It doesn't matter if it's cheap, as long as I eat and it's delicious. As always, in Mcdo. You know, low allowance.While eating, still with an iPod on my side, i am thinking, realizing, analyzing..about my true feelings. After eating, I closed my eyes. I saw his smile, his, face, his profile..I saw him in my mind, in my heart. 

I got inside the jeepney..on my way home, I was still thinking deeply, still with an iPod on my hand. I realized I am not listening to the music of my iPod anymore..I realized I am thinking of him all this time..I am not confused anymore..but now I'm afraid..to fall in love.

Hey, please don't be too kind to me, I might cry.

私は彼がとても好き。
私はとても彼が好きだから...泣きたい。